Creatine: The Closest Thing to a Real Super-Serum

There is no serum that turns an ordinary man into a legend overnight. Believe me, I looked. What exists is a cheap white molecule with over 500 studies behind it that measurably increases strength, power and muscle volume: creatine monohydrate.

What it does

Creatine saturates the muscle's phosphocreatine stores — the fuel for explosive efforts of up to 10 seconds. Tactical translation: one or two more reps in every heavy set. Compounded over months, those reps become pounds of muscle. Meta-analyses show superior average gains in strength and lean mass versus placebo. No other legal supplement comes close at this price.

How to take it

• Dose: 3 to 5 g per day, every day. Training day or rest day, it doesn't matter.
• Fast loading (optional): 20 g/day for 5–7 days. I don't use it; patience is also a weapon.
• Timing: irrelevant. Consistency is what saturates the muscle.
• With what: any liquid. With carbs or protein it may absorb marginally better.

The myths, executed one by one

• "It damages your kidneys." In healthy people, studies up to 5 years long show no renal damage. If you have a kidney condition, talk to your doctor — preparation comes before action.
• "It causes hair loss." Based on ONE 2009 study that measured DHT, not hair loss. Never replicated. My hoodie hides a perfectly healthy head of hair.
• "It makes you retain water." It retains water INSIDE the muscle. That's a gain, not bloat.
• "You need to cycle it." You don't. Continuous use is safe and more effective.

Which one to buy

Monohydrate, pure, from a brand that publishes lab reports. Ignore the "advanced" versions that cost triple — HCL, ethyl ester, buffered: marketing taxing your ignorance. The products I recommend are in the arsenal below.

You don't need a chemical accident to get stronger. You need 5 grams a day and the discipline not to skip. I'll handle the discipline; creatine handles the rest.